New Year time to look up and look ahead…

I still feel a little unhappy but I am no longer wallowing in the self-pity I have endured for the past three months. I am remembering my little lad with affection now and I know I have to turn to myself to get on. I took a few photos of myself in underwear. I was so horrified by it I didn’t think it was me. I was looking at the hanging aprons of fat wondering how the woman was coping with it all. it was me. I have noticed it is an effort to get off the couch and walk up the stairs. I weighed in on 1st Jan at 15stone 6lbs. I am only 5ft 4 so it is difficult for me. Boot camp begins on Thursday. I am secretly thrilled but also a little terrified. Tomorrow I am going to visit the gym. £20 a month membership for all the wonderful facilities thanks to a subsidy from work and I never use the place. the worst thing is I live around a minute from the place and can see the cross trainers from my bedroom as I write this blog.

 I need to break the usual cycle of diet, lose 20lb, become complacent, gain it all back plus more, diet, lose 20lb….. I have decided to try a different way. I am going to eat only when hungry, eat whatever I want and stop when I am full. I tried the philosophy over the weekend and was amazed to realise I was eating when I was not hungry at all. I am also not going to weigh myself weekly but fortnightly or even monthly. I want my clothes to tell me I am losing weight and not rely on the scale yelling numbers at me. It breaks the usual cycle too so I am hoping it makes a huge difference. Going to take fruit for lunch or to nibble on each day and yogurt which I adore. Going to avoid bread and biscuits as they are my huge downfall.

 Will be back in the week to let you know how I am getting on. xx


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