Before the Storm…

Before the Storm….



I wouldn’t say not much has been happening lately. A lot has been happening. I have managed a little travel with my trip to Iceland and also a trip to Finland coming up next week. have reconnected with old friends and been out and about. It feels good to have the connection with people again. I do still love my own company but I am finding my way in the world again. Have done loads of travelling around for weekends, weeks and day trips to London to visit the British Museum.

I still have a lot more self exploration to do, but I am really enjoying finding myself right now. I am still struggling with weight and motivation.

I have loads to write about my trips and motivating myself. I will save them for posts in the week.

I do have a new toy though. I decided to treat myself to a new Apple MacBook Air. I love it. Other than my iPad and iPod, I have never been an Apple user so this is my first foray. there is still a tonne of stuff to learn on it.

Watch out for posts coming soon including, Gall stones, Iceland, Finland, brown bears, London and getting rid of this damn flab…

Life Loading….10%

Well, it is December. I spent an interesting month in November travelling through Central America. It was amazing. I grabbed as many opportunities as I could to experience new activities. I surfed on Nicaragua’s Pacific coast which was a bucket list activity of mine, wallowed in a geothermal spa which was brilliant, camped in the rain forest, travelled through cloud forest, traversed many border points, enjoyed my wildlife photography, made new friends, became more confident, laughed so much, lost weight (gained it back home), visited a coffee farm, visited Mayan Ruins…it was so much fun. I took a lovely photo of a hummingbird.  I will be posting photographs of my trip soon. 

 I came home after smiling and laughing for almost an entire month and immediately fell into dreadful eating habits which sent me spiralling into a horrible depression. It really did hit home that my eating and lack of exercise have the most profound effect on mood and well being. the last two weeks have been the worst. I have been secret eating on a huge scale. I go shopping when my house-mate is out and I creep up to my room with it. I currently have a bin liner full of empty food packs from the last three weeks. On my trip I didn’t each much junk and I was up early and on the go from dawn till dusk. I never had an attack of abdominal pain, a mood swing or a palpitation in that time. I felt full of energy, alive and happy. 

  Its Christmas soon and I thought I would wait till the new year to start my healthy eating and exercise again but this weekend I decided not to wait. There is still another three and a half weeks of the year and with a dangerous attitude I could easily gain 14lb in that time. I have NEVER had any success starting healthy eating at the beginning of a month or year so I have made a food and exercise plan for next week. I am going to take it day by day initially for one week. I have to make some solid plans for the new year though. 

 the trip made me think about all the things in life I want to do and am able to do. I have a list of stuff I want to try and achieve next year. Keeping it simple and short but manageable and life enhancing. So for 2014 I hope to achieve the following: 

  • goal body – whatever that weight may be. I want to get to a point where I feel healthy and happy. 
  • develop my saxophone playing.
  • learn to needle felt. I have some of the equipment and have ordered a book. 
  • travel – dive in Iceland and see the Northern Lights, Bear Watching in Finland at the Russian border, cash permitting a big trip in October to Indochina. 
  • start running. I’m not going to wait till 2014 for that I am going to start next week by running around the local park before work a few mornings a week. 
  • do a Triathlon… scary one this but it has been something I have always wanted to try. 
  • write my cookery book using Blurb and sell them (I already have advanced orders). 

 I think that is enough to keep me going for now. I am excited by all of them but especially by the travel :). I am going to concentrate on the next few weeks of healthy living and address the fact I have disordered eating. I have never admitted it before but I know I have really abnormal relationships with food. My secret eating is getting beyond my control now. Tomorrow is a new day and I will post an actual weigh-in photo from my scales. xx



A Week Later…

It’s been a week since I started using Herbalife. I’ve been having a shake for breakfast and one for lunch. I weighed in with a 4lb loss and 1% lower body fat. I cranked up the exercise and started using free weights in a body pump class. I know using a shake is not the best thing but it has really helped me stay on track with making healthy choices. Next week I am aiming for around 3lb loss. I’m going to introduce more healthy snacks and start a daily 30. 30 minutes of exercise each morning before I head off to work. A mix of muscle and cardio to boost my metabolism.

When I started the Herbalife I was weighed and measured. My metabolic age was 50. 50 was the maximum reading so chances are it was higher. I forget the other readings except I do remember I was dehydrated. I have been chugging down the H2O so I hope that has increased.

My exercise plans for the week:
Monday: daily 30 and Pilates class.
Tuesday: daily 30 and Body Combat class.
Wednesday: daily 30 and Kettlebell class.
Thursday: daily 30, Body Combat and Body Balance classes.
Friday: daily 30 and Body Pump class.
Saturday: daily 30 and Pilates class.

Here is to the next week.
Sunday: daily 30 and Body Pump class. I just need to plan my dinner and snacks for the week. Xx

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Hello Stranger…

Well, it’s been quite a while since I was last on here. What’s happened in that time? Well… My best mate found herself a partner and moved in leaving me to find another place to live. Oh, and dumping me in the process. So, without best mate or home I have spent the last few months in a lonely little place. Not one for self pity though I am not going to dwell on it. I have decided to temporarily lodge with another friend and it has been good so far.

I’m off to Central America in a few short weeks which I am anxious and excited about. I’m going it alone… I will be fine though. I have survived in the past. I did intend on being a bit thinner but that never happened. I found my eating habits begin to spiral out of control. I have never been a binge eater but I found myself starting to just buy loads of food and eat it all in one go. That happened a few times before I realised what was happening and I managed to put a stop to it. I also started taking the packaging to work to dispose of it and that set alarms off in my head.

In order to get some semblance of normality back in my life I decided to sign up to Herbalife for a month. Slimming World, Weightwatchers and MFP were no longer working for me. I just never followed them, wasn’t interested and kept eating. The Herbalife is new and expensive so I have managed to get through the weekend with it. I am not looking to make it a permanent part of my life. In fact, it goes against everything I know about nutrition but I need a kick start to start eating healthily again.

On the exercise front I have started taking Body Pump and Body Combat classes which I love. I’m building up my muscle and my metabolic powerhouse. I’m hoping to make more progress in the next few months than I have in the other classes I have been taking.

Day 3 of Herbalife tomorrow… I’m looking forward to this little experiment being concluded. For tonight I have a delightful dish of gnocchi, tomato sauce and steamed veggies to look forward to.

back on the wagon….again…

I don’t know how many times I have said that sentence. I know what I need to do, I have the tools but the one thing I lack is discipline. I need to be weighed by somebody in order to actually stick to it and stay out of that chocolate filled ditch I keep falling into when I roll off the wagon. Tomorrow I am joining Slimming World in order to kick-start my weight-loss again. I know I have made progress as I have gained only 7lb before I really knew I had to get my mojo back and make myself accountable. I know exercise is 30% of weight loss and diet is the rest but I have planned all my meals for the week and have also included exercise. Its super tough at the moment as my home is at risk and I may have to find a new place in the next few weeks. this has caused loads of stress for my little head. I wondered if it was even worth joining a club and concentrating on my health. I thought that was rather a ridiculous statement and I can’t allow my health to suffer when life gets in the way. I’m going to post my meal and exercise plan initially and keep you updated with how it is going. I have had enough time to think about this and plan for it. I get nervous when I think about joining new clubs. I’m sure I will be ok. No goals this month. Just going to get my mojo back. x


well two months in with my FitBit and I completed my Millionth step today. I have walked over 200 miles, climbed 1,212 flights of stairs and dropped almost 26lb. I have raised almost £500 for a children’s cancer charity with my ‘Million Steps Challenge’. My clothes are fitting better and I have been complimented almost daily on my weight loss. I have lost a total of 40lb since I started this journey and after a week of eating maintenance I am ready to begin phase II and get the next 40lb off. I want to aim for a more feminine look in my clothes so I have been looking around at what is out there. After 30 years of dressing in men’s clothes (because they were shapeless and covered my frame, I never actually wanted to be a man), it is a scary prospect to start looking at cute small clothes. My main fright is the array of patterns, colours and styles. I am going to start with female style mute colour t shirts and then evolve.

I never really put any goals together for last month or this month. I do want to start thinking about pampering myself and trying new things. I want an eyebrow wax and another manicure. As my face becomes more feminine I really want to look for more flattering hairstyles and start looking after my skin more. It is a long time coming but I have started to have more good days than bad. The exercise has been a huge boost. I am so happy I never had to resort to medication to drag me out of this fug. I still cry for my boy and for my dad, I get sad thinking about them but I feel stronger in my soul and spirit. Long may it continue.

For the past few years I have wanted to try for the Liverpool Triathlon. I have never run a race before and I always felt I wanted the challenge of the Triathlon. I have been looking at road bikes and think I have come to the point where I have found my road bike. I love it. Let me share it with you…

felt It is a FELT Z95 2012. I am going to get it next week. I also want to order a pair of Shimano pedals…


I know this sounds ridiculous but when I was much bigger I felt embarrassed on a road bike thinking that everybody wondered what the hell the fat woman was doing on such a bike. I feel so much more confident now I want to get out there and get my speed kick.

Tonight I am going to have a think about goals for September. x

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