back on the wagon….again…

I don’t know how many times I have said that sentence. I know what I need to do, I have the tools but the one thing I lack is discipline. I need to be weighed by somebody in order to actually stick to it and stay out of that chocolate filled ditch I keep falling into when I roll off the wagon. Tomorrow I am joining Slimming World in order to kick-start my weight-loss again. I know I have made progress as I have gained only 7lb before I really knew I had to get my mojo back and make myself accountable. I know exercise is 30% of weight loss and diet is the rest but I have planned all my meals for the week and have also included exercise. Its super tough at the moment as my home is at risk and I may have to find a new place in the next few weeks. this has caused loads of stress for my little head. I wondered if it was even worth joining a club and concentrating on my health. I thought that was rather a ridiculous statement and I can’t allow my health to suffer when life gets in the way. I’m going to post my meal and exercise plan initially and keep you updated with how it is going. I have had enough time to think about this and plan for it. I get nervous when I think about joining new clubs. I’m sure I will be ok. No goals this month. Just going to get my mojo back. x

Update…

well two months in with my FitBit and I completed my Millionth step today. I have walked over 200 miles, climbed 1,212 flights of stairs and dropped almost 26lb. I have raised almost £500 for a children’s cancer charity with my ‘Million Steps Challenge’. My clothes are fitting better and I have been complimented almost daily on my weight loss. I have lost a total of 40lb since I started this journey and after a week of eating maintenance I am ready to begin phase II and get the next 40lb off. I want to aim for a more feminine look in my clothes so I have been looking around at what is out there. After 30 years of dressing in men’s clothes (because they were shapeless and covered my frame, I never actually wanted to be a man), it is a scary prospect to start looking at cute small clothes. My main fright is the array of patterns, colours and styles. I am going to start with female style mute colour t shirts and then evolve.

I never really put any goals together for last month or this month. I do want to start thinking about pampering myself and trying new things. I want an eyebrow wax and another manicure. As my face becomes more feminine I really want to look for more flattering hairstyles and start looking after my skin more. It is a long time coming but I have started to have more good days than bad. The exercise has been a huge boost. I am so happy I never had to resort to medication to drag me out of this fug. I still cry for my boy and for my dad, I get sad thinking about them but I feel stronger in my soul and spirit. Long may it continue.

For the past few years I have wanted to try for the Liverpool Triathlon. I have never run a race before and I always felt I wanted the challenge of the Triathlon. I have been looking at road bikes and think I have come to the point where I have found my road bike. I love it. Let me share it with you…

It is a FELT Z95 2012. I am going to get it next week. I also want to order a pair of Shimano pedals…

I know this sounds ridiculous but when I was much bigger I felt embarrassed on a road bike thinking that everybody wondered what the hell the fat woman was doing on such a bike. I feel so much more confident now I want to get out there and get my speed kick.

Tonight I am going to have a think about goals for September. x

I am loving my FitBit…

I have had my FitBit for a almost a month now and I just love it. So far I have walked 398,726 steps, climbed 485 floors and walked 64.54 miles. I reckon I would never have done that much if I didn’t have the FitBit. Weightloss wise it has been slow but the trend is downward so that is the main thing. I have had a number of non-scale victories this weekend. I had a quick rummage through my closet last night and I fit into 3 further pairs of trousers which is brilliant for me. I have a lovely green pair of cord trousers which I had on last night waltzing around my bedroom. I have lost fat off my thighs, hips, waist and bust as I now fit into more of my t shirts. I have been wearing them daily and have had a number of comments from colleagues. My size 16 jeans are getting baggier by the week. They are brand new almost which is rather annoying as I hope not to be in them too long. I bought size 14 linen combat trousers a few days ago and they fit really well. I also bought a pair of heeled leather ankle boots which I just love. I have been learning to walk in them.

My Fitness Pal has been invaluable for tracking my food and I have continued going to Weight Watchers for my weekly weigh-in. The points system doesn’t really work for me for when I joined up it was with the idea I would count calories and just weigh in at the meeting. I have dropped 43lb in total according to MFP. I am going to sever links with WW soon and continue with the calorie counting.

The steps have given me an idea for some fundraising. I have decided to walk 1 million steps for charity. I have walked almost half of that in the time I have had the FitBit so I am going to start raising funds in the next few days. It is going to Sefton CHICS for children and teenagers with cancer to help make their lives a tiny bit easier and better. I will write more on it next week when the fundraising starts.

I am going for a walk in a minute need to get my numbers up instead of sitting up in bed all day

a bit fit with a FitBit…

I ordered this little guy http://www.fitbit.com/uk/product last week and it is winging its little way into my life.

It is a wireless activity tracker. It tracks activity, measures stairs, measures sleep, distance and a whole load more. Check it out. Should have it in the next day or two.

I have struggled over the last two weeks. I have tracked my food and exercise but have only managed to lose 1lb per week. In the last 6 weeks I have lost 10lb which is great. I know it is better to lose it slowly and to develop really good relationships with food and exercise. It is just so frustrating for me. I am NOT going to give up. Next week sees a new month and a new set of goals to think about. I am becoming happier and more positive. I am also beginning too think more about a real career but just playing with thoughts at the moment.

I had a go at making my own frozen yogurt at the weekend. It was not as ‘soft serve’ as shop bought stuff but it was equally as gorgeous. I made blueberry.

I LOVED it.

On Friday I am having a Spa Day at the Hilton Hotel in Chester. So looking forward to it. xx

Looking Positive…

I have just spent the last two weeks at the gym every day and eating really well in the expectation that I will kick start my weightloss and make me feel better with an endorphin rush. I actually do feel more positive, more energy and feel better about myself. I think I have lost some weight also as my trousers are looking like they want to fall down. I have burned a minimum of 500 calories a day and sometimes as high as 1,000. I have also eaten loads of fruit and vegetables, complex carbs and my latest love which is called Maxta mix. It is a mix of chia seeds, flax seeds, goji berries and white maxta tea all ground up. I sprinkled it on my weetabix on day 1 and I was stuffed. Day 2 I had one less weetabix biscuit and the mix which was just right.

I conquered a fear this week – I ran outside along the beach in the DAYLIGHT. I didn’t need to use the Vampire method. I didn’t feel self conscious at all. I thought I would drop dead and cough up my lungs but it didn’t happen. I felt it was difficult to catch my breath but that came on with a little time. I ran with my housemate, chances are I would not have done it alone. Our initial strategy was to run between the Gormley statues. Along my beach are 100 iron statues of Anthony Gormley. They are spaced and specific intervals making them easy to use as a point in which to judge the distances.

We have been out twice and run for around 30 minutes a time. Not bad for a start. Sunday will be the next run. We were supposed to go out yesterday but at the moment Liverpool is in the middle of a storm and living on the beach means it is exceptionally windy.

  Three weeks ago I decided to rejoin Weight Watchers. I didn’t want to use the Pro points system, rather I just wanted to be answerable to somebody else on the scale. I weighed in at 15stone three weeks ago. Back up to that higher weight. My head is in the right place now and I have begun to built up some new habits.

1. eating decent food.
2. making the most of the morning and getting up early to nip over to the gym.
3. plan food and exercise and sticking to both.
4. developing a positive mental attitude.
5. keeping a food diary.

I am happy to have begun my foray into running, having managed to get to the gym every day and having eaten quite well this past two weeks. I am hoping my weigh-in on Monday will reflect the hard work.

Next week’s food is already planned and I am working on where I can fit exercise in. I used my heart rate monitor and in two weeks I burned just over 7000 calories.  That was quite mad and I am going to aim for 500 calories per day minimum. Here is to running next week… x

Not a Second to waste…

Last week was an utter fail-fest. I have to say I am bored of crashing into a wall, falling off the wagon and just ending up bloated and full of self-loathing with a sugary taste in my mouth.

What I can’t get my head around is what is it that is stopping me from achieving my goal of a fit, toned and healthy body and mind? Why do I falter and crash? I don’t want to look like a dried out, fat old woman – who does? I know the only thing/person standing between me and my dreams is ME. Like a recovering addict I need to take it one day at a time.

In January I wanted this year to be the one I lost the weight. We are not too far away from May so the months are slipping by. There is not a second to waste…

  I am off work for the next two weeks so I am going to use the gym, there are a few classes scheduled, bike rides and I am planning on at least having a go at running (even if it is treadmill running). The fridge is full of healthy food and all the junk is gone.

Lets see how taking it day by day works… x

It Started with a Bootcamp…

Life has been up and down but lately I have found a little groove and have managed to settle into a sweet little routine which I have enjoyed. I have enjoyed it so much I have actually lost 11lb. It started with a 4 week Pilates boot camp. I decided that I was going to have a go and put some real effort into this one. It came as second nature to me to begin a healthy eating routine at the same time. I hated leaving the chocolate ditch I had slipped into after falling off the wagon again… but I kept it up for the first week being a miserable cow, having headaches, eating little packs of chopped celery and carrots each day to keep the hunger at bay. Slowly, very slowly it all started to turn around. After the first week I found I had lost 5lb, the second week 1lb and this third week I have managed another 5lb. To log my calories and exercise I decided to subscribe for 3 months to the Biggest Loser Site. It is basic and does the job so I am happy to use it. My exercise has increased so much, gym visits have increased and I have started to feel good again. Having just had a long weekend I decided to have a few health suite sessions and have steamed and bubbled all weekend. Exfoliated, epilated and moisturised my way to a minor grooming triumph. I have also had a tiny wardrobe revamp and have planned another wardrobe clearout for the end of the month. These horrid black trouser I hate so much will be gone in this next session.

Portion sizes have been cut, chocolate intake has been cut but not through annoyance rather through genuine choice. I could easily have eaten the stuff but I just have not wanted.

Today I am starting the 30 Day Shred and I am planning on doing it all. Why not while I am enjoying being active. This week I am hoping for another loss but more important I will be taking part in a Charity bike ride of 30 miles for Altzheimer’s Trust. I am sure there will be photos. xx